Seven Signs You’re the Token Gay


Coming out and living your life has become easier for LGBT people, but that doesn’t mean it’s always smooth sailing.  Quite often, members of the LGBT community can often feel like they’re the ‘token gay’ in their circle of straight friends.  While your friends may have the best of intentions and don’t mean to treat you like a token, if you experience these seven signs, you may need to sit down and talk to your friends about it.

Or just share this article on their feed.

You Get a Lot of Rainbow and Pink Triangle Gifts

It might be your birthday, Christmas or just some random item – but whenever you get a gift, it has an undeniable gay theme.


You Keep Getting ‘Matched Up’ With Literally Any Other Gay Person They Know

Just because you meet another gay, that doesn’t mean we will want to hook up with each other.  Sure, having sexual orientation in common is a good thing, but that doesn’t mean we all pair up indiscriminately.  (Well, okay SOME of us do)

Everyone Looks at You Anytime Fashion is Mentioned


Whether it’s which glitter to match with a thong or whether or not flannel is sexy, when fashion comes up, you’re the one they turn to.

What’s Going on With *Insert Gay Person / Couple Here*?

I have no clue how Ellen and Portia are doing, nor do I know what Laverne Cox, Elton John or Ruby Rose are up to. Get the TMZ app already!

Acting Like You’d Be Into Them Romantically If ….


Whether they’re assuring their family you two are just friends (“I’m still straight!” they laugh) or maybe they’re telling you right to your face “I’m sorry I’m not (insert appropriate sexual orientation here) so we could just be together” the idea is that of course you’d be totally into them if only you weren’t gay or they were as well.  They likely mean it as a compliment but …

Uh, no.

Just because I like girls, it doesn’t mean I’d be into you if you were too.  Gay people aren’t into EVERY person they meet based solely on their gender.  Also worth mentioning – even if we’re good friends that doesn’t mean we’d make a good couple.  Just sayin’.


“I Need Gay Advice”

What is gay advice?   Do I need to do it through the medium of interpretive dance?  Can I just give you advice?


Introducing You as Their Gay Friend


Every introduction for you has to include the word gay.  Like suddenly you’re not just Tom, Omar, Susan or Bevvy – you’re Tom the Gay, Omar the Homosexual, Susan the Sapphonite or Bevvy the Bi Girl.  Look, my sexuality isn’t actually the most interesting thing about me so can we please stop leading with that fact?  Especially when you’re introducing me to your grandma’s MaJohng group.

At the end of the day, that’s really what it comes down to.  Trust me, I know being gay is fabulous and, yes, there are plenty of issues that are especially important to the LGBT community.  At the same time, I have zero interest in my sexuality being the defining thing about me.  So if we’re gonna be friends, it’s not that my sexual orientation is off limits for discussion and entertainment – just know I have a whole lot more I can bring to the table.